Kennel District
Music is good for your brain. Research has demonstrated that listening to music can reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure, reduce seizures, improve sleep quality, boost your immune system, repair brain damage, increase mental alertness, and generally put you in a better mood. Music can also piss off the neighbors. Music has power.
One of the strongest, most instantaneous doses of musical medicine comes in the form of the rock and roll guitar riff. There are tons of lists on the internet of the “GREATEST GUITAR RIFFS OF ALL TIME” because people like guitar riffs, and people like lists. I’m not going to get into a debate or even proffer an opinion as to the relative value of one famous guitar riff in comparison to another famous guitar riff. All famous guitar riffs are fantastic.
Bad ass guitar riffs are all capable of completely changing a listener’s mental mindset, within seconds. How often does this occur in life, when brain chemistry is instantaneously changed for the better, without a side helping of addiction or guilt or longing? You may see a stranger that you find overwhelmingly physically attractive. What a rush! But what next? Start to think of striking up a conversation and fear and anxiety enter the mix. Wouldn’t it be simpler and easier to just walk away? Why bother trying to make a human connection with someone who might sense your inferior physical, mental and emotional makeup? How embarrassing. Hmm… this isn’t fun anymore. Not so with a guitar riff! Guitar riffs are inclusive and always welcoming, no matter who you are.
How about a seemingly less complicated mental pick me up, a delicious bite to eat? That first bite of (insert favorite food here) always tastes so magical. It can be refreshing, or comforting, but that first bite makes you feel instantly better, takes you away from the doldrums of your everyday existence. Like music, it can even trigger a happy memory. But what about the 15th bite? What about the 43rd? A pint of ice cream can be a dangerous thing, but it’s still only a pint. Ice cream can escalate quickly. No such lurking danger in a rock and roll riff! Have as much as you want! Listen for three straight hours! Walk away unscathed (depending on listening volumes) and guilt free.
I suppose a glimpse of natural beauty could provide an innocent, instantaneous, positive boost to the brain. Experiencing a stunning sunset, or an exquisite butterfly passing by, or the neighbor’s new playful puppy; the natural world can provide these momentary lifts. But neighbor’s puppy vs. bad ass guitar riff? C’mon. Puppies are cute and all, but… bad ass guitar riff will not eat your new shoes. Bad ass guitar riff does not need to be taken outside for a walk. Bad ass guitar riff will not keep the neighbors up all night with incessant, unrelenting barking (when bad ass guitar riff is handled responsibly).
The bottom line is that music is good for you and that guitar riffs can provide you with a healthy dose of music when you need it. So, what makes a bad ass guitar riff? Well, just like the lists of GREATEST GUITAR RIFFS OF ALL TIME, there’s plenty of information on this topic scattered across the internet. There’s some musical theory that we could get into, but let’s focus on the essentials. One essential element of a bad ass guitar riff is that the guitarist is doing their best to express themselves in their playing. Frank Zappa once said, regarding blues legend Elmore James, “Even though Elmore tended to play the same lick on every record, I got the feeling that he meant it.” Elmore found something that worked, and he stuck with it, because it worked every time, because he meant it every time. The only real litmus test for a bad ass guitar riff is on hearing it, does the riff cause the listener to think “that’s bad ass”? If so, we’ve got a winner.
This week’s SOTW is brought to you by the band Pavement. The song is “Kennel District,” from Pavement’s 1995 album Wowee Zowee. I think it’s a great song, all three minutes of it. But honestly, the first five seconds is enough to completely change my mental mindset within, well, five seconds. This is especially true if I haven’t heard the riff in a while, and if I am able to hear it played loudly. Bad ass guitar riffs should be played loudly whenever possible.
If you’ve never heard of the band Pavement, you’re not the only one. Though Pavement have had a cult following for many years and that cult following has grown over time, the band never achieved massive mainstream success. The band existed for a decade (the 1990’s), then briefly got back together for a reunion tour in 2010 and are now getting back together again for another reunion tour in 2022. The band has always been led by front man, lead singer and songwriter Stephen Malkmus, who originally decided to break up the band to pursue his own solo projects. Malkmus has gone on to have success with his backup band The Jicks, and at this point Malkmus has had more active years and more albums with the Jicks than with Pavement.
I enjoy most of most Pavement albums. I do not enjoy all of any Pavement album. I believe this is a typical take on Pavement albums, even from some fans of the band. Pavement albums are up and down, full of swings and occasional misses. Pavement’s most accessible album is probably 1994’s Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain and I would encourage any new listener to start there. It is a fantastic representation of 1990’s “alternative rock,” and more importantly it is a great rock and roll album. Pavement were accused, are still accused, of being sloppy, and sometimes of not trying very hard. I think the band would plead guilty as charged to the first count, but not guilty to the second. The band was and continues to be sloppy at times. I do not think their sloppiness comes from a lack of effort; I think the sloppiness is by design. Their musical goals may be different than yours.
It could be argued that Pavement is a garage band, because of the type of rock and roll they play. The band was formed in Stockton in 1989 and early recordings exhibit some punk sensibilities. The band members grew as musicians over the years, becoming somewhat more polished, but the DIY style of the music has remained constant. Another constant has been Malkmus’ off beat, occasionally cryptic, often whimsical lyrics.
“Kennel District” is rare among Pavement songs in that it is not a Stephen Malkmus creation. The song was written by guitarist Scott Kannberg, aka Spiral Stairs. Malkmus did not choose “Kennel District” as a single off Wowee Zowee. He went with “Rattled by the Rush” and “Father to a Sister of Thought” instead. Malkmus has admitted that his judgment at the time may have been clouded by excessive marijuana use. Perhaps it was also clouded by ego; I’m not sure if a Spiral Stairs song, any Spiral Stairs song, would have been in the running as a potential Pavement single as long as Malkmus was the one in charge of the selection. (A side lesson to be learned here may be to not let the band choose the single, but I suppose that’s the kind of artistic freedom an independent label offers.)
I think “Kennel District” would have made a good single. Though the lyrics aren’t easily discernable, in part due to the vocals and in part to the production, somewhat unintelligible lyrics are par for the course in 1990’s alternative rock. The vocals are reasonably in tune at least. The backup vocals and the organ are perfect compliments in a bittersweet tale of love lost. Dude probably should have asked. The main reason why I think “Kennel District” would have made a good single? Bad ass guitar riff. Twelve notes. Five seconds. Brain boosted.
I’ll end this treatise on bad ass guitar riffs with this: one of the best things about bad ass guitar riffs is that you can make them up yourself. I’m talking to YOU. I did not live in Stockton in the mid 1990’s, but it doesn’t have a reputation for being a magical place and time. Some folks who knew one another got together and wrote some songs. Why not do the same? Get an electric guitar and an amp, throw a distortion pedal or octave pedal or some other funky pedal into the mix if you want. Hell, drop it down to D. Play around. Eventually you’ll hit on something you like. Play it for your buddy. Ask them what they think. If their answer is “I think that sounds bad ass,” stop. Press record. You are now a magician, capable of instantaneously altering the minds of all those within earshot. Enjoy your newfound superpower and use it for good, you rockstar.
Bonus story:
I attended Pavement’s concert at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley, California on June 25th, 2010. It was part of their first reunion tour and a homecoming show of sorts. They had played the previous night in Stockton, for the first time in many years I think, but evidently the band was underwhelmed by the real hometown crowd’s enthusiasm. There was great energy at the Greek, and Malkmus acknowledged this, officially declaring the Berkeley show to be their real homecoming show.
Before the concert started, my girlfriend and I were making small talk with two middle-aged women who were sitting next to us. They had fancy looking drinks in hand and told us the tale of how they got them. Evidently, some weirdo in a loud Hawaiian shirt, goofy hat, and glasses had called out to the ladies as they were walking into the show and asked them if they wanted free drinks. The weirdo was standing in a somewhat off-limits, guarded area, more side stage than backstage. The ladies were a little hesitant but accepted the free drink offer. They said the guy was obviously already three sheets to the wind but wasn’t acting overly aggressive or anything. However, the weirdo did inform the ladies that he was the drummer in the band, something the ladies did not buy for a second. They thought he was funny though.
Turns out the weirdo was 57-year-old Gary Young, Pavement’s original drummer from the first few years of the band’s existence. He would come out onstage to play the drums later that evening, for the final six songs of the concert. His onstage demeanor during those last six songs suggested that Gary had probably kept his pregame going for the first twenty songs.
8.17.22